Davenport

I was just looking through Craigslist and suddenly I was transported to another place and time. Someone was selling a "davenport and chair". Suddenly, I was a little girl, sitting on my grandparents couch or davenport, as my Gram called it, watching The Price is Right. The fan on a stand is running and we are snapping beans while we watch Bob Barker announce the winner of the showcase showdown. We will eat dinner soon...not lunch...dinner. We will have cucumbers sliced the long way and tomatoes sliced into wedges along with our boiled potatoes and maybe roast beef. Gram will ask me how many corn I will eat, because she won't want to cook any extra ears...just what we will eat. When I say three she will smile at me and indulge me. My grandparents always indulged me in the littlest of ways that felt big to me. For dessert we will have a bowl of fresh raspberries or maybe some rhubarb sauce served in the little green and yellow plastic bowls. I will dry the dishes while Gram washes them. I love to put them away, so that I can look around in the walk in pantry. That way I can look up at the pretty dishes on the top shelf. I am hoping to get to settle onto the davenport again and watch the soaps, but Grandpa will probably have other plans for me...plans like weeding the garden or just following him around outside and doing whatever he asks me to do. And he will do it at his own pace, not mine. He doesn't really care if I get to watch the soaps. He thinks I need to make myself useful and he likes a little company...someone to visit with. Eventually, he will let me go back in and I will get to find out what Victor is up to today. I will settle onto the davenport, next to Gram in her chair. Grandpa will come in after a while too and sit in his chair over on the other side of the door.

What a lucky little girl I was. What wonderful memories my grandparents gave me. Nothing big or flashy or expensive. Just fried potatoes and golden grahams and rhubarb sauce and time and patience and love. God has been so good to me.

In which I grab summer while I can

This week has been one of those "I wish summer would never end." weeks. I have enjoyed kayaking, long walks, reading on the glider and having the windows wide open. Sheets have dried on the line in minutes, and I ask you, what smell in the world is better than fresh sheets from the line? Well, maybe a newborn baby, but that's about it. We've had fires in the fire pit and ate yummy marshmallows and s'mores and watched the stars fill the night sky. We've feasted on corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes and grilled chicken, burgers and hot dogs. Summer is such a wonderful gift here in the North Country. Yes, it is. But...Fall is quickly approaching, so I intend to grab as much summer as I can... I am off to pull the sheets in and bury my head in them again. God is good!

In which time moves too fast

"Are we gonna do a mother-son dance?", he asks me on the phone? "I thought we would.", I say and then the tears begin. So here we are trying to come up with a song and every one has me weeping. Not teary...weeping.

When, exactly, did he grow up? Where did that little boy with curls and osh kosh overalls run off to? What happened to the years of catching frogs and playing with tractors and building forts? When did he stop bmxing and skateboarding? When did we stop staying up until one in the morning trying to sort life out together? How did time go by so fast? And for heaven's sake, when did he become another woman's?

We will dance together. My son and I. And then I will blow my nose and smile and give him to my very first daughter. And pretend I was ready.

Midnight thoughts

The God of the universe wants to be our friend. He wants to walk with us and speak to us and direct us in the way of peace. He wants to help us. He loves us so much that he gave his only son. His only son! I have five and I cannot imagine giving even one of them up for anyone or anything. The God who is big and good and powerful wants to be our friend! Why in the world then would we not want to be his? This is what I am trying to understand tonight as I lay in bed not sleeping.

How can the world be that alluring? How can a person spend even one minute in the Presence of the One who loves them and want to go back to the world and it's stink? Where is the power in self or in a sin filled world? It makes no sense. God is so good.

Choice. I know it all comes down to choice. We have to choose Him. We have to choose to walk with Him and accept His love and help and friendship. I think God was very brave to give us free will. It must cause Him so much pain when someone who has known His touch turns and walks alone, when all God wants is to walk with us. Why would we not choose Him? He is so good!

Anyhow, after wandering around in my thoughts and emotions tonight, I have to say that choice or free will aside, I believe in the power of intercession. I refuse to stand idly by and allow the god of this world steal what belongs to the True and Living God. So, as hard as it is to understand a wandering heart or a bad choice...as much as it hurts to see someone I love in the muck, I will pray. And I will gather other prayers and we will storm heaven and we will see the captive set free. Because God is good. And I believe that!

In which I appease my faithful followers

Well, as usual, I have gone forever between posts. It isn't that nothing is happening. The trouble is that so much is happening all the time, that I rarely make writing here a priority. However, of late, I have received criticism from some of my dear followers (read my mom and my uncle) for my lack of diligence, so in an effort to keep the dear ones happy, here we go.

On my mind lately has been the passing of time. Michael and I will be married twenty-five years in a few weeks. I have a twenty two year old son about to get married. I just went for a mammogram. I frequently have this odd feeling that I am living in a dream. I do not feel old enough to be married twenty-five years, have a son about to be married or for heavens sake, need to go have mammograms. It all feels strange to me. I tell myself to really live each day, as they are passing so fast, but then at the end of the day I wonder if I did. Time. Fleeting, moving, never stopping, stealing from me if I let it. "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

There is more that could be said, however in an effort to not overwhelm anyone, I shall just give you a bit of this and that at one time.

Family and Friends

There really is something special about people with whom you share a history. We spent a busy weekend with dear friends of many years, and it was very special. We were all here. All the kids who aren't really kids anymore, all the new littles and even the new significant others, one husband and one soon to be wife. And Joe. You can't forget Joe, because Joe has been a part of our gatherings since the beginning. What a joy to have friends who are really family. People who know you and honestly love you. People who can get in the fridge and help themselves and who you can ask to go out to the garage fridge for the chicken or salad and they just do it. Family. Family is the dearest word and sweetest feeling. God is good!

I love these little sweeties

Yesterday, I kept the little sweeties for a few hours. I was very nervous about having Natalie, as she is pretty attached to her Mama. Nolan and Myles are good friends and play happily together. But the girlie had me worried. No need. She was wonderful. It certainly helped to have Nolan here for a bit of familiarity, but she seemed pretty content to be held by her Auntie Michele. Towards the end of their stay, I rocked her to sleep. I have to admit to a tad bit of wishing she was mine. She sure was a sweetheart sleeping on me in her little purple outfit. I had forgotten how nice a sleeping baby can feel. And, maybe, just maybe, a little girl feels even better. There is just nothing like it. Auntie Michele loves Natalie Ruth and Nolan Matthew! God is so good!