In which I whine

So, it's December 28th and we've been sick since December 22nd. Vacation has been miserable. We slogged through Christmas just because we had to. Michael even missed Christmas eve at my parents. I went and returned home feeling like I was going to die if I didn't get to bed immediately, only to toss and turn and ache so badly I wanted to die. Yeah, it's not been the best holiday. As I write, Michael has run to town, the first time he's left the house in seven days, for more cough drops and McDonalds. I feel miserable and achy and very worried about Stars on Ice being a reality two days from now. So much for a merry Christmas!

Realistc Expectations

Less than a week until Christmas, but more importantly today is Michael's last day at work. We look forward to this long stretch of togetherness all year long. The rub, however, is that I never really am on vacation, because my job is here. Laundry and cooking and housework never go away. So today I will work hard to get ahead. I have two crockpots going...one filled to the brim with scalloped potatoes and ham, one with hamburger mac soup. Perfect more than one meal dinners. Some foods are even better leftover and these both qualify. That should cover today and through the weekend. Jello salad, sugar cookies, all made with the weekend in mind.

 I will clean deeply today, so that I can run over things lightly each day for the next few day. Good is good enough, right? Right. Sheets have been all washed and changed and won't get done again for awhile. We shower daily, so how dirty do sheets really get anyways? All laundry will get done today and then not again until Monday. A girl needs a break from the laundry every now and then. Two days off seem fair, plus no mess in the mudroom that way.

I know my expectations are rarely met for this vacation time. I envision Norman Rockwell and it just isn't real. The food will run out and I will need to make more. Laundry will pile up, no matter how much I want a break. Let's face it, we are a bunch of messy, sinful people... which is exactly why we need Christmas in the first place. Jesus came to our messy, sinful world to redeem us. Not to make life perfect, but to make us his own dear children. Messy, imperfect, hungry children, but His none- the-less. God is good!

50 years of love

Today marks my parents 50th wedding anniversary and that is a lot of days. A lot of good times and bad times and mundane every day times. A lot of health and quite a bit of sickness. Some poor times, some rich times, but mostly just enough with a little left over times. Days of working hard and struggling through and days of fun and laughter. Day after day after day, no matter the circumstance, always, always together. Half a century of love.

The heritage that they have passed to me and my brother and my children is staggering. Fifty years of standing strong together, with never one doubt about it being any other way. They have taught us what faithfulness looks like, what true love is. True love is day after day after day after day being there for someone else, laying down your life for them and enjoying them. I have watched them have fun over the years...snowmobile trips, camp, Lancaster and I have seen them waiting for a doctor to come into the room while the other lies in a hopital bed. I have seen them go through hard things, but at the end of the day it was them together that always made me feel stable and secure even when things were not really stable. What a gift to give your family. Faithfulness and stability and the example of someone who truly enjoys their spouse. I am grateful.

I am certain that they could not have accomplished this longevity, had it not been for Jesus. Early on they found the Lord and as is their way, there was no looking back. He has been the absolute center of their life and therefore their marriage every since. Always, always they looked to him, leaned on him and enjoyed him. He has always been faithful to them, in good times and in hard times. I am beyond thankful for learning to lean on Jesus by seeing them do the same!

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you so much! Thank you for loving each other every, single day. Thank you for enjoying each other. Thank you for loving the Lord so faithfully.

 And by all means, keep holding hands and never stop kissing in the kitchen!

Christmas again

Another Christmas season. Another tree, more fudge, more gifts. Boys who are men now. Daughters who are such a part of our family that we couldn't imagine it any other way. Time is fluid. It never slows or stills. Believe me, I have tried to stop it...wished for days gone by. No more little ones to read Jothem to, to count down with. No more matchbox cars in stockings, no more models to build.

But we will all be together on Christmas morning and even though I miss the days of squeals over new toys and "Can we come down now?", I am grateful for adults who still want to come home for Christmas. I love this season and I love my family. And I am grateful that we will have eternity together...maybe we win in the time flying by thing after all! God is good!

peace

It's been a quiet, cozy sort of day. The sky is steel gray and the outside is cold, but here in my home the wood fire is toasty. Candles are burning and soup is simmering away in the crockpot. It's sensory heaven in my cozy home.
This past month has been a lovely one. We have remembered how fun it is to play family games at night. Sequence, Wizard, Rummy, Blokus...so much fun to be together. Winter may have her faults, but she forces us to slow down and enjoy our evenings together. I thank her for that. Now if she would just dump a foot of snow on us. I would really like to give my snowshoes a workout. And I know some boys who are yearning to ski.
It looks like our weekend will be more of the same. I am not complaining. God is good!

Faithful God

I think about where we are today versus where we were last year and wonder where will we be next year at this time. I think that God was faithful last year and He will be faithful this year. I think that no matter what happens, this one thing I can count on. God is good. God is very, very good.

My Parents...forty-seven years and counting

I've been sitting here trying to write a post to honor my parents. After all, forty-seven years is a long time in a fallen world. And I am acutely aware of the gift this is to my brother and me. I wrote a whole post about their faithfulness to each other and to their family and the church and God but it seemed so dull. True and noble, but dull, none-the-less. Faithful is the one word that exactly describes them, but it doesn't sound all that thrilling or romantic or exciting. I mean serving each other, even when it isn't fun or what you want to do, day in and day out isn't what romantic movies are made of. Taking care of each others parents, cutting your wife's father's toenails and visiting nursing homes and hospitals isn't the stuff of romantic movies. Making it through financial hard times and lawsuits and the time your kid wrecks your new truck isn't all that exciting. I mean, yes, they stood by each other through thick and thin, through surgeries and lean times, but what really stands out to me and what I clearly remember and suspect may be the true glue is this...

They were always kissing in the kitchen.

And that may just be the secret to their long and faithful marriage. I am following their example closely, so in twenty years, I will know for sure.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! I love you and am proud to have your wonderful example to follow!

A very random updatey kind of post

As usual, I have been a bad blogger. I always tell myself I need to be more faithful and then I never am. Reminds me of my plans to stay on top of the ironing. *sigh*

Life here is going along at an alarming rate. How in the world can it be time to decorate for Christmas already? My goodness gracious! I feel as though I just did it! There is truth to the fact that the older one gets, the faster time seems to move. I have enjoyed fall tremendously this year. The mild weather, however has lulled me into believing it will continue forever. Not so. Time to pull out the greens!

School is going well. We just keep working hard every day, being diligent. Slow and steady does win the race. Myles curriculum is so interesting that it is making it easy to stick to it. The eastern hemisphere is something we know so little about. Curiosity has us by the hook. Did you know that in Japan, a child is one when they are born? The Japanese consider the time in the womb the first year of life. I found that so amazing. And beautiful.

Marcus and I are enjoying a Literature Seminar. We go each week to meet with a small group of homeschoolers to discuss a work of literature. I think I may be enjoying it even more than he is. I just love a good work of literature!

I got a new phone today and, silly me, but I am having lots of fun with it. It is a "smartphone". And it really does seem to be smart. It can search the World Wide Web, take pictures, text and even call people. It's a funny world we live in, isn't it? Our phones are smart. At any rate, I am having fun with it, but doubt it will hold it's appeal for long. In the end, I am just a simple girl who needs a phone to call home when I away, which is seldom. For now though it's cool. And the boys think I'm cool for having it, so we'll just go with that.

Well, I am off to light pumpkin candles while I still can. Mistletoe comes out next week, you know. Dinner must be made and the house straightened for Hubby's arrival. God is good to us, isn't He?!

this and that...finally

Okay, I admit it. I am a bad blogger. I have neglected this blog so severely, that I doubt anyone even checks it anymore. Well, I don't blame you. I would have given up by now, too. But, if you haven't given up on me, I will update you on things around here.

First and foremost, we are rejoicing in a son who came home and a Father who hears our prayers. Ethan has been home for three months now and is happy to be back with us. He is wholeheartedly serving the Lord, for which we are beyond grateful. I find myself just reveling in the simple moments. Three boys sitting on a bed together playing on the computer. Rummikub as a family. Life is good and God is better! Thankfulness abounds!

I am relishing in my yard. My apple trees have apples. My raspberries from Aunt Rita made it through the winter and are growing nicely. We planted cherry and pear trees and our blueberries are also growing nicely. Our plum tree has a few plums for the first time. My flowers are beautiful and make me so happy! I love my yard! My tomatoes are just sitting there doing nothing, but the yard looks great.

School is kinda, sorta done. We will continue to do a bit through the summer, so we don't lose what we've learned, but for the most part we are done. Phew. We are still making up for Myles late reading ability, but we will get there. We plan to read lots of books on the glider this summer, as reading isn't really school, but fun.

We just finished up a week of special meetings at church, and I have to say that what I came away with was a renewed love for the Word. What a gift we have been given. A love letter from heaven. Everything we need for every moment of every day is in there. Wow! So, I am reading scripture more. I am posting more verses around my house to memorize, and I am trying to pass a love for the Word to my boys. Such richness, if we will only take the time to mine it.

The days are busy and sometimes hard. Laundry, cleaning, running sons here and there. But the days are also good. Healthy boys driving me crazy. Hungry boys keeping me cooking, but enjoying their food. Handsome husband working lots of hours, but earning a good wage. Fighting to stay slim in a food centered home, but able to walk for miles with strong joints. Hard, but good. That's how life is. It's all in the attitude, I guess. I will choose to say God is good!

Well, life can throw you a few curve balls, that's for sure. I am pretty sure that when I was birthing sons, I never planned on any of them going astray. I saw a bright future, where all five of them made right choices and walked with God always. After all, I was doing it right wasn't I? Homeschooling, loving discipline, loving, nurturing extended family, church.

And therein lies the rub. The truth is it doesn't actually depend on me. They grow up and they make their own choices. And I hope that all that I did right will come back and make things right one day. That all the early training coupled with the promise of God's word will see my son return to Jesus.

So, I pray. And I ask everyone I know to pray. And then I pray some more. And on my good days I believe. And on my bad days, I let everyone else believe for me and just stand and keep on praying. Because in the end, I serve a faithful God and He is good. Even when curve balls are thrown my way.

A bit of fall

I thought maybe I should show you a little bit of our fall this year.
We did our yearly leaf drive up through Santa Clara to Saranac to Lake Placid in October.
It was pretty, as you can see, although a week earlier would have been better.




Isn't he cute?
And 12 already!
And the only one who wanted to go with us.

Look at that smile!
What a cutie!
We rewarded him for coming with us by buying him McDonalds.

That handsome guy is my favorite person alive.
He carries my kayak for me.
And he pushes me out and pulls me back in so my feet stay dry!
I love that man!
And I love kayaking in the fall.

In which I decorate tables

Last Saturday we had a lovely ladies brunch at church. I thought I would show you the two tables I decorated for the event.

My beautiful fall table with my beautiful Rowe pottery.
Notice the gorgeous centerpiece in my mother's gorgeous dough box.
Beautiful, is it not?





This is the fun Christmas table I did with my friend Paula.
We had a blast putting this together, and I was thrilled with the results.
So gay and Christmasy is it not?

It was quite a lovely affair.
I only had to haul half my house to the church.
Then bring it all home dirty, wash it and put it away.
But that's okay, because it was fun and for a good cause.
We raised over $900.00 for our local food pantries!

Happy Holidays!

Davenport

I was just looking through Craigslist and suddenly I was transported to another place and time. Someone was selling a "davenport and chair". Suddenly, I was a little girl, sitting on my grandparents couch or davenport, as my Gram called it, watching The Price is Right. The fan on a stand is running and we are snapping beans while we watch Bob Barker announce the winner of the showcase showdown. We will eat dinner soon...not lunch...dinner. We will have cucumbers sliced the long way and tomatoes sliced into wedges along with our boiled potatoes and maybe roast beef. Gram will ask me how many corn I will eat, because she won't want to cook any extra ears...just what we will eat. When I say three she will smile at me and indulge me. My grandparents always indulged me in the littlest of ways that felt big to me. For dessert we will have a bowl of fresh raspberries or maybe some rhubarb sauce served in the little green and yellow plastic bowls. I will dry the dishes while Gram washes them. I love to put them away, so that I can look around in the walk in pantry. That way I can look up at the pretty dishes on the top shelf. I am hoping to get to settle onto the davenport again and watch the soaps, but Grandpa will probably have other plans for me...plans like weeding the garden or just following him around outside and doing whatever he asks me to do. And he will do it at his own pace, not mine. He doesn't really care if I get to watch the soaps. He thinks I need to make myself useful and he likes a little company...someone to visit with. Eventually, he will let me go back in and I will get to find out what Victor is up to today. I will settle onto the davenport, next to Gram in her chair. Grandpa will come in after a while too and sit in his chair over on the other side of the door.

What a lucky little girl I was. What wonderful memories my grandparents gave me. Nothing big or flashy or expensive. Just fried potatoes and golden grahams and rhubarb sauce and time and patience and love. God has been so good to me.

In which I grab summer while I can

This week has been one of those "I wish summer would never end." weeks. I have enjoyed kayaking, long walks, reading on the glider and having the windows wide open. Sheets have dried on the line in minutes, and I ask you, what smell in the world is better than fresh sheets from the line? Well, maybe a newborn baby, but that's about it. We've had fires in the fire pit and ate yummy marshmallows and s'mores and watched the stars fill the night sky. We've feasted on corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes and grilled chicken, burgers and hot dogs. Summer is such a wonderful gift here in the North Country. Yes, it is. But...Fall is quickly approaching, so I intend to grab as much summer as I can... I am off to pull the sheets in and bury my head in them again. God is good!

In which time moves too fast

"Are we gonna do a mother-son dance?", he asks me on the phone? "I thought we would.", I say and then the tears begin. So here we are trying to come up with a song and every one has me weeping. Not teary...weeping.

When, exactly, did he grow up? Where did that little boy with curls and osh kosh overalls run off to? What happened to the years of catching frogs and playing with tractors and building forts? When did he stop bmxing and skateboarding? When did we stop staying up until one in the morning trying to sort life out together? How did time go by so fast? And for heaven's sake, when did he become another woman's?

We will dance together. My son and I. And then I will blow my nose and smile and give him to my very first daughter. And pretend I was ready.

Midnight thoughts

The God of the universe wants to be our friend. He wants to walk with us and speak to us and direct us in the way of peace. He wants to help us. He loves us so much that he gave his only son. His only son! I have five and I cannot imagine giving even one of them up for anyone or anything. The God who is big and good and powerful wants to be our friend! Why in the world then would we not want to be his? This is what I am trying to understand tonight as I lay in bed not sleeping.

How can the world be that alluring? How can a person spend even one minute in the Presence of the One who loves them and want to go back to the world and it's stink? Where is the power in self or in a sin filled world? It makes no sense. God is so good.

Choice. I know it all comes down to choice. We have to choose Him. We have to choose to walk with Him and accept His love and help and friendship. I think God was very brave to give us free will. It must cause Him so much pain when someone who has known His touch turns and walks alone, when all God wants is to walk with us. Why would we not choose Him? He is so good!

Anyhow, after wandering around in my thoughts and emotions tonight, I have to say that choice or free will aside, I believe in the power of intercession. I refuse to stand idly by and allow the god of this world steal what belongs to the True and Living God. So, as hard as it is to understand a wandering heart or a bad choice...as much as it hurts to see someone I love in the muck, I will pray. And I will gather other prayers and we will storm heaven and we will see the captive set free. Because God is good. And I believe that!

In which I appease my faithful followers

Well, as usual, I have gone forever between posts. It isn't that nothing is happening. The trouble is that so much is happening all the time, that I rarely make writing here a priority. However, of late, I have received criticism from some of my dear followers (read my mom and my uncle) for my lack of diligence, so in an effort to keep the dear ones happy, here we go.

On my mind lately has been the passing of time. Michael and I will be married twenty-five years in a few weeks. I have a twenty two year old son about to get married. I just went for a mammogram. I frequently have this odd feeling that I am living in a dream. I do not feel old enough to be married twenty-five years, have a son about to be married or for heavens sake, need to go have mammograms. It all feels strange to me. I tell myself to really live each day, as they are passing so fast, but then at the end of the day I wonder if I did. Time. Fleeting, moving, never stopping, stealing from me if I let it. "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

There is more that could be said, however in an effort to not overwhelm anyone, I shall just give you a bit of this and that at one time.

Family and Friends

There really is something special about people with whom you share a history. We spent a busy weekend with dear friends of many years, and it was very special. We were all here. All the kids who aren't really kids anymore, all the new littles and even the new significant others, one husband and one soon to be wife. And Joe. You can't forget Joe, because Joe has been a part of our gatherings since the beginning. What a joy to have friends who are really family. People who know you and honestly love you. People who can get in the fridge and help themselves and who you can ask to go out to the garage fridge for the chicken or salad and they just do it. Family. Family is the dearest word and sweetest feeling. God is good!

I love these little sweeties

Yesterday, I kept the little sweeties for a few hours. I was very nervous about having Natalie, as she is pretty attached to her Mama. Nolan and Myles are good friends and play happily together. But the girlie had me worried. No need. She was wonderful. It certainly helped to have Nolan here for a bit of familiarity, but she seemed pretty content to be held by her Auntie Michele. Towards the end of their stay, I rocked her to sleep. I have to admit to a tad bit of wishing she was mine. She sure was a sweetheart sleeping on me in her little purple outfit. I had forgotten how nice a sleeping baby can feel. And, maybe, just maybe, a little girl feels even better. There is just nothing like it. Auntie Michele loves Natalie Ruth and Nolan Matthew! God is so good!

In which I share a lot of randomness

Well, I see my blog is finally working right again. Zac and I tried to figure it out when it was screwy, but we couldn't, so I gave up trying. Apparently Google fixed the problem. Glad to see it.

I am absolutely loving this early spring. The lawn and flower gardens are all raked. The apple trees are pruned. The grubex has been spread on the lawn. Oh, how I hope it works! And...I have planted lettuce, radishes, chives and onions in my garden. Oh, sweet happiness! Playing in that warm dirt brought such immense joy. Michael has promised me three more garden boxes. That will be eight total. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I started my own tomatos and peppers this year. We shall see how that works out. Oh, and I have four blueberry bushes to plant! I am so happy!

We had a lovely Easter brunch here this year. Just the family. It was so fun to see Myles and Nolan playing together all day. Nolan is a real person now, not just a baby, so they had great fun outside together. I think Myles enjoys being older than someone. He is very kind to Nolan.

School is plugging along. It has been a good year. Myles is finally reading pretty well, so everything is easier. Even math requires reading, so he is able to work much more independently now. Don't get me wrong, I still sit there and help him quite a bit, but if I need to go do something, he can work along at things. Being able to read directions makes a big difference.

Marcus keeps right at his work. He is very independent and quick to learn new concepts. He has actually gone off to visit Gabe for a week here and there and just taken his school work with him and stayed on top of his lessons. He is great friends with Gabe now, so this has been a lot of fun for him.

Well, enough randomness for now. I am glad to be back with a working blog. Perhaps I shall even post now and then. God is good!